Uncanny Valley of the Dolls in 4D
And here it is, suddenly the High Holiday is upon us. Seems my initial InkTober steam has run out, although partially it was to get a Halloween comic ready in time. As usual, the theory of “make quick comics for holidays” evolved into a complicated test of comic fortitude as I continue feeling out this ink wash angle. It was incredibly fun to do.
At Finster’s tonight it’s attack of the scary dolls and doll related entities. Who are these strange, stunted spooks? I AM GLAD YOU ASKED AS HERE IS A HANDY KEY I MADE FOR YOU BECAUSE I CARE FOR YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH:
- Pinhead from Puppet Master (1989): I’ve never seen this movie but have been aware of it since it came out. The aggressively possessed puppets of André Toulon.
- Tunneler from Puppet Master (1989): I should find it and watch it. The concept disturbs me.
- Blade from Puppet Master (1989): And stop motion for the win am I right?
- Fats from Magic (1978): I watched this movie years ago and the preview still creeps me out. The movie is equally unsettling.
- Chucky from Child’s Play (1988): Another character from the age when horror movie creeps could get a run of films with deteriorating value without much effort. Not a slam.
- Pinocchio from……Pinocchio (1940): I’m sure there is someone, somewhere who finds Pinocchio scary. I will say any movie where a boy turns into a donkey and never turns back is clearly the type of thing that sits in a kid’s subconscious for a long time.
- Tiffany from Bride of Chucky (1998): You have to admire the legs that the concept of “The Bride of….” has had over the years in movies.
- Otto from The Great Gabbo (1929): Safe to say the first freaky puppet of film. Arguably the great-great-great-great-grandfather of…
- Billy from Saw (2004): The latest real iconic doll. You see that face and you know you’re gonna have a bad day. Although you will spend half as much on shoes from now on.
- Brick Bardo from Dollman (1991): Okay technically a real person, but the right size and it’s in the name.
- Robert the haunted doll: The real deal and the most well known. Ironically the most innocent looking of the group but with the most frightening reputation.
- Annabelle the haunted doll: Two things to know about the haunted doll in the movie franchise – one, she is real and two, she looks nothing like that freaky prop. She is actually a Raggedy Ann Doll. Which honestly is way more scary if you take even five minutes to think about it.
- Zuni fetish doll from The Trilogy of Terror (1975): The most terrifying of the bunch, hands down. Brought to life from Richard Matheson‘s short story Prey. If you have ever seen this this detestable thing running around shrieking it is burned into your brain. High grade nightmare fuel. Find it and watch it. Why should i bear this burden alone?
- The clown doll from Poltergeist (1982): Next to the melting face the most upsetting part of that movie. From the first look you knew this little creep was going to do something horrible before the end credit. What decent parent would even buy this for a kid? Child abuse is what it is.
- Talky Tina from the Twilight Zone episode Living Doll (1963): This is why I don’t buy my kids any toys with a face. You want to end up like Telly Savalas? Then don’t buy dolls and for God’s sake don’t join the Russian army and board a train with a prehistoric creature in a big wooden box. It’s just common sense people.
If you’re up for more Hallow-skroode-een check out the Halloween archive yonder.
So Oíche Shamhna Shona Duit. Keep the gold chain on the doll.
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